Slowing Down To Speed Up

When something is stripped down, pure and totally authentic, it cannot help but be rich with energy, spirit, and truth.

When we drop out of our thinking and connect to ourselves and the present moment, the answer often shows itself to us. Why ? Because we’ve given it the space to appear.

Without that space, all we have is the same old thoughts and ideas cluttering up our heads.

These ideas haven’t served us well in the past, so why do we think we’ll find the answers there now ?

As Einstein wrote, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

I used to believe that if I wanted to achieve something, or if I had a problem I had to solve, the only way I’d get there was to go up in my head and think my way to a solution.

But this too was just a symptom of over complicating matters—a fear of surrendering to what is.

As I’ve traveled further on my journey of self-awareness, I’ve come to understand the true inside-out nature of how life works. I recognize more and more how the old way of being never helped me, and that when we give ourselves space and clarity of thought, we allow new ideas to form.

Whether we’re stressed, anxious, or trying to work out how best to achieve what we want, the less we have on our mind, the better life gets.

So if we are learning to move away from thinking our way to solutions, what do we do instead ?

We slow down. We take away.

The beauty of these concepts is that we don’t have to learn lots of new techniques to get the results we want. It’s not about adding things but simply stripping away all the stuff that inhibits us.

Trust that going up into your head and doing loads of that really, really good thinking only really takes you out of the present moment.

Usually in these moments you’ll be imagining a past that you think is warning you of something or a future event that scares you from moving forward. But the operative word here is “imagining.” These experiences aren’t real. Yes, it’s very easy to think your feelings about them are telling you something. They never are. You are only ever feeling your thinking in the present moment.

When you become fully aware of this, you quickly reconnect with yourself and fall back into reality, where insights can happen and you can take action.

To better help with this understanding and create a space for insight to happen, I find it helps to get away from distractions strategically throughout the day. Go for a walk in nature; book some quiet time with yourself for reflection; and actively disconnect from your emails and phone for an hour or so.

Little acts like this create exponential results when you allow yourself the space and clarity to fully connect with yourself and the world.

When we’re calmer and more relaxed, everything comes a lot more easily. By creating a peaceful, quiet space around us, we allow our innate wisdom and well-being to come to the surface.

This is who you are before the world put all the thoughts and worries and stories on you.

This is you, uncomplicated, unencumbered. Pure, elegant, resourceful  :-)

The Importance Of Togetherness In Relationships

One of the simplest things you can do for your relationship is be proactive in managing the time you spend on yourself, being a couple, and being a family. Many times life gets busy and a committed partner slips into becoming a roommate who is also exhausted. Work, kids, social obligations; all these things will take every bit of time you have and more if you do not manage them. 

Folks who make love last learn how to set boundaries in their different roles, and give time to what is important to them. Think about it like this, if you are a parent then you must make time for: yourself as an individual, yourself as part of a couple, yourself as your role in your larger family. Dedicate too much time to one of those identities and the others become neglected, also problems can pop up in the role where you are over functioning. So, let’s look at how a little bit of time management in each role can lead to lasting love.

-Individual Self-
Often times people think that the solution to every problem in a relationship is to spend more time together, more closeness. That can actually do harm to a loving relationship. Can you truly desire what you never miss ?  Spend too much time together and contempt can block out any appreciation for your partner. I think of it as self-induced cabin fever. Making some time for your individual self allows you to practice self care as well as miss the people in your life that you love. A moment to pursue your own passions while having a little vacation away from your responsibilities as partner and/or parent does a world of good.  

You rejoin your relationship roles with energy and possibly new insights into your appreciation for your loved ones. A little bit of space in a relationship allows longing to reignite passion’s flame. All sorts of wonderful things can happen if you take a little time to nurture your individual self. Just be sure that you don’t fall into the trap of spending too much time in this role. Resentments can easily develop when one partner feels they are too alone within a relationship, so after some individual time make sure to set up time to devote to your other roles.

Many folks look back at the beginning of their relationship with fondness.  They remember all the dates, trips, and happy times discovering each other.  Then work, meetings, the lawn; all these things seem to conspire to take over your life. Your relationship is left longing. There are three main ways to make time for your partnership. You have to make time to talk, time to date, and time to connect physically. Time to talk includes conversations about what is working well and challenges within your relationship. If you’re parents, use this time to discuss your dynamics as a couple. Focus on your role within the larger family will be discussed at a different time. Making time to communicate about your relationship will help you avoid conflicts in the future and help you feel like a teammate with your partner. Working together against the chaos of the world. 

Taking time to have a date night is important too. Life cannot be all work, so a night to focus on connecting and enjoyment helps strengthen a relationship.  This could be anything from a fancy dinner out to a walk around town lake.  Just taking a little time to reestablish your romantic connection will strengthen your relationship. It makes a deposit into your relationship’s emotional bank account, so that when you need to make a withdrawal in the future your relationship can withstand it. If you’re connecting as a couple then it’s easier to ask for some individual time later on. 

The last piece of time management for your is making time for your erotic selves. This piece is too often sacrificed to the gods of exhaustion. Many couples find it difficult to maintain an erotic life over time once the daily business of living gets done with them. You have to make time to connect with your partner physically. Now, I’m not saying that you jot down in your planner to penetrate your partner at 8pm on Monday.  Set up a time to physically connect with your partner and honor it, do what feels right in that moment. 

It could be a massage, might be a shower together, could be penetrative sex.  It isn’t about the activity that you do, it’s about maintaining your physical connection to help maintain your relationship. Too much togetherness as a couple and desire can dwindle as resentment grows. It becomes too easy to lose appreciation if you’re never apart. Too much time together as a couple can also make it difficult to manage your own moods. The emotional atmosphere can be hijacked by one person’s sour mood, leaving the other partner to ride out the storm.   

The last place that requires time management is your family, be it your own children, extended family, or family of choice. Obligations tend to reign in this area of our lives, so many people find it challenging to set time boundaries with family. Too much time in this role can lead to resentments. If you’ve ever been the primary caregiver for your kids on a particularly rough day you know too well what can easily happen. You can get snappy, frustrated, and eventually in desperate need of some time outside of your role as caregiver.  Too much time as a caretaker with no time to practice self care can lead to issues in coupling.  

The only adult interaction makes for a place to pour out difficult feelings. On the positive side of managing time in the role of family, seeing your partner interact within larger family units allows you a chance to see your partner in a new light. The time they take explaining something to their nephew reminds you of the tenderness you first saw in your partner.You can come together with your partner to bring joy to others, such as planning a surprise party for a friend or helping an elderly relative with yard work.  

It is tricky to manage time for your individual self, your relationship, and your family. There will always be a request for more. Setting boundaries with time and maintaining them will help your love last.

Make More Thrilling Life Experiences

Making every day worth remembering, and trying to experience as many exhilarating ventures in life as possible, will enrich our spirits and broaden our horizons. Falling into a routine, and feeling as if we’re living the same day over and over again can easily happen unless we do something about it. That’s why we should always strive for the good old Carpe Diem, make every day truly count and search for the thrilling life experiences that can be waiting just around the corner.

Ponder these 3 ehowtwo tips to live a more thrilling life style.

-Try something new-
If you’ve never been spontaneous and preferred to plan things rather than act on the spur of the moment ‒ it’s time you changed that. Packing your bags and embarking on a road trip is a great opportunity to meet new people, explore unknown locations and just enjoy life on the road.

Learning something new every day helps us grow and understand the world around us a bit better. Being curious makes socializing easier, which means a person can befriend so many new, interesting people just thanks to simple questions like “Why ?” “How come ?” “Where ?” or “When ?” The next time you walk by an old authentic building ask about its history.

Living in one place for years can become really boring. Meeting the same people day after day and doing the same things will eventually become monotonous. Moving to another place can be a great way you can beat that monotony.

-Change your usual day-
An alarm clock beeps, you get up, go to the bathroom, have a cup of coffee, maybe some breakfast and you’re off to work. Is that what your usual mornings look like ? If so, try to crank them up a notch and give your morning routine some twist. Try to do a little bit of morning exercise, get up half an hour earlier and indulge in a cup of coffee on your terrace, without a rush. Get up before the dawn breaks on weekends, and go look for the best viewpoint to enjoy the sunrise

Pets are great companions, so adopting one can change your life entirely. Taking a dog for a walk a couple of times a day may bring new life-changing experiences your way. You never know who you might run into on your walk in the park. What’s more, take your bike and bring a dog along for an exciting ride, so you’ll both have a little bit of physical activity while spending quality time together.

-Help others-
Be generous, kind and offer help to those in need. Whether you decide to volunteer in a community center, help an old person cross the street, or you decide to give some money to a street performer, any act of kindness will both make you feel good about yourself and make others happy. What better way to evolve than to truly work on yourself and promote kindness every day.

It doesn’t take much to go from mundane to a life full of thrilling experiences. All you have to do is replace your everyday habits with new activities that will lead you to a completely new path, making your life more thrilling every day.

Lighthouse Of Hope

Since Ancient times, the lighthouse has been used to mark dangerous coastlines and hazardous reefs. These beacons of light are usually built in inaccessible locations. They exist because storms exist. They symbolize safety, guidance and Integrity. 

At different points in our life we may find ourselves in difficult places. Sometimes we don’t understand why we are facing such dark situations. Much of the time, it’s not about us at all, it’s about the bigger picture. We can gain much understanding by changing our perspective.

-A lighthouse shining in a dark place-

When bad things are happening or people are confused and feeling uncertain, where do they turn for guidance? In most cases they turn to someone they view as emotionally stable and level headed. Do you know someone like that ? Someone who might be like a lighthouse during stormy times.

What would it take for you to exhibit that kind of confidence and stability ? What would it feel like if those around you viewed you as a lighthouse in their world ? It’s an interesting concept to consider and the reason I bring it up is because you actually could be that person. Once you get to a certain stage in your personal growth, others will naturally begin to see you in that role.

Ask yourself these 3 questions

1) Could you play the part of a lighthouse for those around you ?

2) Are you strong enough and grounded enough to weather the storm while providing guidance to those who feel lost ?

3) Are you anchored to your values and principals so as to appear stable and dependable even under adverse conditions ?

You see, none of us is in this thing alone. We all benefit from the wisdom and experience of others, and somebody also benefits from our wisdom and experience. When you raise the bar of your life to the lighthouse level, you help raise others up also.

Everyone around you benefits from your personal growth just as you also benefit from theirs. Finding your true self is the great place to start your very own transition to lighthouse status ! 

The Meaning Of Your Life

What determines the quality of your life is not where you live physically, but where you live emotionally. You control the meaning of your life.

You cannot control the external world, but you can control how you choose to respond to events that happen to you, be that either in a positive or a negative way.
It is important to realize that you cannot control anything in this world except your Self.

Your internal world is comprised of your emotions – how you think and feel. Your success is determined by your ability to master your emotions.

Life is comprised of a myriad of challenges that are designed to test your ability to be resilient – your ability to adapt in the face of daily stressors, challenges, hardships, or trauma. Oftentimes, we cannot control what happens to us.

Bruce Lee said it best – “Empty your mind. Be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend.”

What he meant by this is that water is shapeless; it doesn’t fight when its put into a container, but instead, it adapts and changes to fit its new reality. This adaptability is a quality that all of us need to strive to achieve. Your strength lies in your ability to control your inner world, and the meaning that you associate to different events that happen in your life.

Ask yourself – do you use challenges as opportunities to grow and learn something about yourself, or do you blame others for your shortcomings ?

You can choose to be empowered or destroyed by what happens to you. You always have a choice. You need to train your mind to see the positive in every aspect of your life. If you, it will set you free. Do not become a slave to your emotional reactions. Be proactive, and take control of how you respond to the events that happen to you.
Become the master of your life. The choice is yours.